All The Rude Boys Have Gone Someplace to Bald in Social Awkwardness
So as you can see, last August I was pretty excited about my giant leap for Taylorkind into the 21st century by way of the purchase of a refurbished 1 GB iPod shuffle. Costing me a grand total of $38.
Well guess what, fucking hipsters? It turns out, the iPhone or whatever didn’t “change the way I poop” because 1) girls don’t poop, and 2)I downloaded 6 podcasts onto that crap, listened to 2 of them, and didn’t dig it out of obscurity again until 2 days ago.
Before I get to the actual story about balding dudes I’m trying to tell here… I just wanted to point out that, while looking for my “excited iPod” picture, I crossed paths with my “one less tooth in my head” picture, and found it still to be quite humorous.
Anywho. So the doldrums of spring cleaning are eliciting excessive ennuiness from me this particular season, because, well, they’re moving us out of our offices into fucking cubicles across the street, and I have to clean out the Godzilla-tsunami-Fourth-of-July-weekend-Will-Smith-movie-opening distasterclast that is… ladies and gentlemen, my office.
So sometime Friday, during the time span I sat in my living room rocking back and forth until 1:30 pm when I decided they would TOTALLY notice I hadn’t gotten to work yet, I decided filling my forgotten iPod with something peppy, something happy, something up-tempo, that would partially ease the pain of cleaning out my office.
Well it didn’t.
But just as I stepped out onto the M-L-K-J-R on my way for some coping margaritas, this song managed put me in a good mood. So before tequila, I stopped by my apartment and bought myself a ticket for Ted Leo and the Pharmacists, which I got home from a few hours ago.
Guess what? Ted Leo is totally making ranks on my list of Most Badass Punk Rock Mother Fuckers. Alongside Ben Folds and Greg Graffin. Though now that my trifecta of MBAPRMF’s is complete, I’ve discovered a disturbing trend.
Doesn’t like, the last 9 years of my life make so much more sense now?
I got a disease. That disturbs my perceptions, and disrupts brain traffics flow. And I am sad to say that I am currently functioning under the belief that I will never see to live the day in which that I am cured of baldy goofs.
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