Imperfectionism

29Apr09

I recently realized I suffer from perfectionism. Yes, suffer. I’ve self-diagnosed myself (because I like to do that) with what I call “Non-Functioning Perfectionism” or more simply, Taylor’s Syndrome.

If I can’t complete a task perfectly and to completion all at once, I will put it off until I think I can. As a result, my apartment is always a disaster, I’ll spend hours or days at a time in my office worrying about how to get work done instead of just doing work, I sleep about 4 hours a night and have a generally stressed and cranky disposition. These are really just the beginning of things that constantly trouble me. Things have been getting progressively worse, and I know was headed towards becoming completely paralyzed by my need to do everything and be the best at it.

I’ve been making little resolutions for the last few weeks. Some have helped, some haven’t. For almost 7 years, I had blogs and posted 2 or 3 times a week. Consistently. For 7 years. It’s something that always made me really happy. My silly insights are things I love about myself, and practically every other day I spent time doing something I enjoyed that reminded me how great it is to be me.

I stopped a little over a year ago because I didn’t think the things I normally wrote about, i.e. my thoughts, were any longer interesting enough to document.  In all honesty, this really was an accurate thought. By that time, I had gotten to the point where I was so obsessed with making myself “better,” I had stopped enjoying what it meant to be me. And life really hasn’t been that interesting since then.

So my latest resolution is to post a blog at least once a week, and only proofread it once before I publish it. It doesn’t  matter if it’s “interesting” enough or not, or how many typos are left, or if it even makes any sense.

So, this my first one.

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One Response to “Imperfectionism”

  1. Some of my more interesting things have come from typos. In fact, when having online chat sex with people, things can take a very interesting turn when you ask someone to “duck you in the ass”


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